If you have children and are going through a divorce, you need to keep a few things in mind to ensure that you and your children come through the process as unscathed as possible. Divorce is a significant change in your relationship with your spouse and it will work changes with your relationship with your children.
However, when you are working with your attorney on your property division and your child custody agreement or parenting plan, you want to do everything possible to achieve a better relationship with your children and their other parent than you have today. Otherwise, why would you bother with divorce? You could remain unhappily married and save a lot of time and money.
So the goal of your divorce and parenting plan should be to improve your relationships overall. Yes, you no longer wish to remain married to the children's other parent, but that only changes your legal relationship, and if you will have joint or shared custody, you will still have a relationship with your soon-to-be former spouse.
This is why your parenting plan is so important. With shared custody, you will still have to interact with your former spouse and at times, make decisions with them concerning your children. The more comprehensive your parenting plan, and the better it lays out expectations, including dispute resolution tools, the better your future relationship.
While your former spouse is unlikely to become your new best friend, maintaining a civil, cooperative and positive relationship is them is the best way to teach your children a truly important lesson for life.
Source: heraldtimesonline.com, "How (and why) to stop divorce from ruining your kids' happy memories," Gary and Joy Lundberg, September 14, 2015