${site.data.firmName}${SEMFirmNameAlt}
Call To Begin A Consultation
Minneapolis612-200-2822
Prior Lake952-226-2015
View Our Practice Areas

It can happen

 

Should you wind up at the point where your marriage no longer works and you are considering divorce, you may be lucky. Not that you have to divorce, but that you may be married to a soon-to-be former spouse who recognizes that children are not a possession.

 

They are independent beings whose parents who could no longer live together. But the children are not a tool to be used to get even with or a weapon to be used against the children's other parent. Their custody arrangement is for their best interest, not yours.

 

And you may be lucky to find your spouse recognizes that. That co-parenting is about the children and you are only there to facilitate the growth and development. In a posting, a woman discusses how a year after her divorce went into effect, she and her former husband, discarded their custody agreement.

Instead of focusing on whose night was whose, and who was obligated to buy their daughter insurance, and which holiday went to which parent, they let go. Instead of control, the actually looked at the "best interests of their child" in their decision-making process.

And it worked. Their and undoubtedly her stress levels declined. Can everybody do this? Probably not. But you may want to consider the underlying behavior that allows this to work. This will not necessarily be easier because it will require granting to the person you are divorcing a great deal of slack and grace.

This won't work if you demand a 6:00 pm handoff to be at exactly 6:00 pm every time. It won't work if your former spouse forgets to pay for health insurance. It won't work if you have greatly disparate incomes and that income is used as a coercive device by the child's other parent.

Discarding a custody agreement is a dangerous step. For most couples, creating a parenting plan that incorporates structure and flexibility is a much safer course. This example shows it can work, but their situation may not be your situation.

 

Source: huffingtonpost.com, "What Happened After My Ex-Husband and I Threw Away Our Custody Agreement," Candice Curry, October 23, 2015

No Comments

Leave a comment
Comment Information
Email Us For A Response

We Can Help Ask us how - please call our family law offices at 612-200-2822 or fill out the form below to arrange a consultation.

Bold labels are required.

Contact Information
disclaimer.

The use of the Internet or this form for communication with the firm or any individual member of the firm does not establish an attorney-client relationship. Confidential or time-sensitive information should not be sent through this form.

close
Offices Conveniently located in Minneapolis and Prior Lake
  • Minneapolis Office
    2100 Fifth Street Towers
    100 South Fifth Street
    Minneapolis, MN 55402

    Toll Free: 800-219-0858
    Phone: 612-200-2822
    Fax: 612-605-0968
    Minneapolis Law Office Map

    Prior Lake Office
    14093 Commerce Avenue
    Prior Lake, MN 55372

    Toll Free: 800-219-0858
    Phone: 952-314-2617
    Phone: 952-226-2015
    Fax: 612-605-0968
    Map & Directions

  • Minneapolis Office Map
    • VISA
    • MASTER CARD
    • AMERICAN EXPRESS
    • DISCOVER
  • Prior Office Map